I Dreamed a Dream

Last night, I was having a huge headache and decided to go to sleep early. From what I can remember, I was in a huge, grassy field, kind of like the field in the Wizard of Oz, and I was lying down. As I was looking up into the sky, I plane flew across with a white banner reading, "Get going, get up, get a life!" I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

I feel like I am in going in the right direction, but it feels as if my life hasn't really started yet. I have finally decided on my future career, teaching, gone back to school fulltime and am focused on what lies ahead. The only hitch is that I feel like I am in a rut. I spend most of my time working, studying or doing homework. With my limited leisure time, I go to the movies, watch T.V. or go out to eat. Needless to say, I have put on a bit of weight and become a regular "couch potato." I need to find something more active to do with my time!

If you have any ideas, please let me know. My subconscious thanks you!

The Getting Married Choke Hold

Are you getting married yet? Haven't you thought about it? What is taking so long? All these questions and more continue to shoot at me from the mouths of friends, families and strangers. Just because I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years doesn't mean I'm ready to "jump the broom." We love each other, but I don't think either of us is quite ready to give up the I's for the We's. At seems as if all my friends are married or engaged and they look down on our lack of direction in that area.


As I watch all the "female-driven" channels, smiling women in ominous white wedding dresses I think they are slowly brainwashing me. I start imagining myself walking down the aisle in a nondescript poufy gown and then I wake up. Everywhere I look, people are flinging there engagement rings in my face or a billboard is proclaiming my need to ask for a ring. I am in my early twenties and ten years ago society would have been telling me to wait and get my career started. Now, women and men are almost pushed into marriage at an earlier age and with a shorter period of dating. I would mind dating for a bit longer before I am committed to someone for life and their last name.

Teaching Fantasies and Realizations

When I decided that I wanted to be a teacher, I had fantasies of being a revolutionary educator. I thought I would be as tough loved as Morgan Freeman in "Lean on Me," as inspirational and smart as Edward James Olmos in "Stand and Deliver," and as warm and friendly as Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music." Now I am starting to realize that is much more than, thankfully before I started teaching. A good teacher knows their subject and tells students what they should know. A great teacher allows them to find the information by carefully guiding them and allowing them to create their own opinions. With state testing and the current emphasis on grades, it makes it hard to be a great teacher and extinguishes creativity it the classroom.



I am trying to read books on what should be taught in middle school and I keep coming across a common theme, self-empowerment. If you can remember when you were that age, not a teenager, but not a child, all these memories might come to mind. Feeling out of place in your own body, family or school and constantly worrying about what other people would think of you. A sense of dread when you would walk past a group of people and they would start to laugh, whether at you or not, and feeling awkward in previously comfortable situations. I hope I will be a great teacher by understanding what I was like at the age and providing needed support to my future students.

"Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave."
-Henry Peter Broughan

Tired of being Tired :(

I have reached the end of another long week, thank goodness! I worked 6 hours of overtime and am going to push through my drained energy bank to work some more next week. I went to school this week, in my newer, functional car, with only 3 hours of sleep and stayed there for about 12 hours. I really love most of my classes, but I am ready for the holiday break. I feel like I am getting closer and closer to graduation, but still so far away. My bf had a pretty confusing week, he lost his job, but he is happier than he has been in a long time. Hopefully, this will be the push he needs to do what he really wants to do. I have learned not to meddle in his aspirations, but be supportive and a sounding board for ideas.

I can't believe it is almost 2010! I have resolved not to make any resolutions this year, but a 12-month plan. I will pinpoint what I want to accomplish by the end of the year and break it into accomplishable pieces. Next year, I would like to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a good balance between school, work and free time. I have finalized my plan yet but I will post it as soon as I do.

Goodnight and thanks for reading!